My first Mother's Day

So I had a lovely first Mother's Day. Mark and Ben both gave me lovely cards, beautiful flowers, and breakfast in bed. Plus I got a substantial break from my mothering duties for a good chunk of the weekend. All in all, quite wonderful.

The weird thing though, was being in the malls this week and seeing all the Mother's Day stuff and thinking that I'm the one that's supposed to like these things. Boxed sets of bath gels and powders, low quality diamond jewelry, gift certificates for manicures. All I could think was "Gak, there's few things I want less than that!" Plus, some of the advertising pissed me off. There was one ad that read "For my mother, your selflessness is inspiring." Um what? I don't want my son to see me as selfless or to emulate selflessness. I want him to see my as self-ful, someone who was able to care for others and herself, not instead of herself. I want him to see me as someone with a strong sense of self, not a self-sacrificing, identity-less mother.

But I will take the pretty flowers.

Oh my god, I never blog anymore. It's partly laziness and partly the lack of anything compelling happening to me or passing through my brain. Ben and I spend are days together, some suck, some are awesome but they're hard to write about. There are many funny moments, like when Ben tries to eat my chin. He wraps his mouth around it, creates a seal and then bites down as hard as he can with his little gum ridges. And it's hard, believe me. And there's his new habit of pushing against us over and over in a rocking motion with his mouth wide open - we think it's a gesture of happiness and affection but we're not sure. And there's the incredible, incredible amount of drool (no, he's not teething, just DROOLING). Baby drool is a substance all to itself, slimy and viscous and mixed with regurgitated milk to give it a stretchy but milky consistency. Divine.

And my brain is jelly. I'm trying to get on the dissertation train but the most intellectually robust thing I've said lately is, "That's right Ben, get those fartsies out." I don't think they'll give me a degree for that. lol

But that said, life is pretty good these days. The weather is awesome. We go for walks and lounge in the backyard. We even braved the streetcar and went shopping along Queen St. W. the other day. Very big deal for me as I've been afraid of the stroller/streetcar sitch for a while. And Ben is just so cute these days. He loves us and reaches out for us and interacts and loves to roughhouse. It's just awesome. But hard to blog about. You just kind of have to see it.

Nothing to report

So it's been forever since I've blogged but I've just been feeling overwhelmed. Ben's been in a bit of a crank lately and has had low fevers and runny nose on and off the last two weeks. We were in the hospital drop-in on the weekend and are off to our own doctor in a couple of days. It's very stressful trying to stay on top of all the various things that could be impacting him and make this world as Ben-friendly as possible. I've been up to my eyes in researching safe vs. dangerous plastics, the benefits and dangers of too dirty a home and too clean a home, which moisturizers and shampoos to use, which foods to eat, how to sleep, when to sleep, on and on and on. Every time I get one thing figured out, a whole new thing I've never thought of before crops up. But he is healthy and still a pretty happy guy, occasional crank aside so we must be doing something right. Or he's just awesome and able to overcome our ineptitude!



Anyway, here's a recent pic. I'll try to write something more chipper soon.

My commentary on the commentary on Alanis's commentary

So the Alanis parody of My Humps is everywhere (if you haven’t seen it, it’s here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W91sqAs-_-g). And it is very very funny. I love Alanis. I dug her since Jagged Little Pill came out, even though at times she’s been a bit of a closet love of mine. But this makes me love her even more. That said, the funniest thing is not the video but the thousands of comments attached to it. I’ve posted a few of my favourites below (all of them are as they appeared, enjoy the spelling and grammar).

First we have the people who love Fergie and/or don’t understand the concept of a parody. Interestingly, many of these people posted over and over again (move on people, move on).

agcc90 (5 hours ago)
SHIT SHIT SHITplease dont hear this video watch my humps(BEP), london bridge, fergalicious, glamorous, big girls dont cryPLEASEEE

movkit (6 hours ago)
It's funny because Alanis is a horse faced fugly woman with no body to speak of. She is fugly and old. Her voice is like a nasal sounding wanna be folk singer.She tried to be the sexy artist and didn't sell.Fergie has what she wants - A career and attention, an a man. Alanis is a jealous bitter ugly old hag whose career is over after she can't be sexy when she did try it. Loser.


Then there are those who hate the video because it fails to reach their standards of obscurity.

mremeet (6 hours ago)
Lets face it people, musisians are flaky self aborbed pretencious people i dont enjoy either styles fergies is crap but alongface moreorless is equally self absorbed in an artsy fartsy depressing kind of way if i want to listen to good music i search for obscurity because most musicians that become really famous are generic watered down music for everyone bands which usaully equates to crap

The people who like Alanis but seemed to have missed the point.

luve4 (2 hours ago)
oh my god!!!Alanis has hit bottom...She's copying Fergie so someone will notice that she exists...I want the "You Oughta know age back..Poor Alanisp.s. i do agree that this video i far from funny[sorry]

yankeesgrl2452 (2 hours ago)
this is INCREDIBLE.the song sounds extremely depresssing but then the video is like..grinding and sex so its a little weird but i love it haha

Those who love the video and have offered us their analysis of its meaning and purpose.

aerialrose (2 hours ago)
Haha! Thank you for pointing out the assinine lyrics and tearing up the suburban wanna-be ghetto "Bootylicious" crowd. Shallow, meaningless, diva bubble gum pop has been a plague on this nation's radios for far too long. Thank you for exposing the useless, brainless bimbos for what they are. How about we get the DJs to start playing some real music, with lyrical depth and harmony now? Something that would transcend sell-out sex/glitter/bling-bling marketing? You have my support. =)

kitkatmonk (1 hour ago)
only a Canadian could see through the morass of endemic American consumerism and make it funny.... brilliant and sad at the same time.

GhuqueYou (6 hours ago)
This just couldn't be any more f'ing great. It is so fantastic to see someone ripping that ridiculous f'ing song and those ridiculous people who insist on pushing such crap on the world. I just can't believe the wanton stupidity in people who swallow that Fergie-esque shite.

Finally, there are those who love George Bush

fruticetum (2 days ago)
I think George Bush is probably one of the top five presidents. He has won two wars, he's erased the Clinton deficit, and nominated excellent conservative Supreme Court Justices. He's bringing democracy to Iraq, and has held to his principles regardless of political ramifications. That spells 'leader' to me.

Mmmm.... cake...

So a friend sent me a little internet quiz, "What kind of cake are you?" (http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofcakeareyouquiz)and it turns out, I'm a marble cake:


***You Are a Marble Cake***

Eclectic, inventive, and peaceful.
You are never willing to accept what's "normal." You live to push the envelope.
You find it hard to make up your mind. You prefer to have everything you want, right away

This pleases me for two reasons - one I like the description. It does sound a lot like me, except for maybe the part about pushing the envelope. I'm not that much of a risk taker. But everything else is me, especially prefering to have everything I want, right away!

The other thing that pleases me about this is that marble cake is my favourite cake! Especially marble cake with chocolate frosting. Mmmm.... frosting....

Crazy days

So I've been neglected my blog because I have become obsessed with facebook. I've been finding all these pages of people from high school and enjoying seeing how they're doing. Even though I myself have a baby, somehow it seems weird to see them with babies. Oh, how these things suck up my time.

In other news, things have been exciting with Ben. We've started him on solids. He's had squash, sweet potatos, peas, carrots, and pears. Plus cereal - rice, barley, and oats. So far he's been really enjoying it, though strangely the carrots weren't a hit.




The other big thing is that we've taken Ben out of the swing. He's been sleeping in it for naps and overnight since he's reflux started in December. Last night, we put him to bed in his crib for the first time. And he wasn't too happy about it. We both cried a lot and then he spent half the night with me and half the night in the crib. Ah well, it's a process!

For mom, so I don't forget

Mom, I'm posting this here so I won't forget to show you. I found it on a craft site - it's a way to hang your fabrics as art. I think it would be cool in your new sewing room. Plus it would be super easy to swap out the fabrics seasonally or as the mood strikes. You're in Las Vegas right now, otherwise I would just email you and tell you to check your email (and how to open attachments...) :)

When free shit is just free shit

So my dad participates in many organizations, many boards, and many charitable events and as a result, he often comes by many gifts of questionable worth. You know, the free t-shirt from the charity walk, the free golf umbrella from the charity tournament, the commemorative poster from an event. And while they are lovely gestures, they tend to pile up over time. This drives my mom a little crazy. My dad, however, has trouble parting with such items unless he is sure they are going to a good home.

Sometimes this works in my favour. I have received very useful things such as flashlights, pens, post-its, and tape. Sometimes, however, the items are not as desirable. For about 15 years, he has been trying convince me and my sisters that the commemorative artwork best suited for a medical office lobby would look really great in our living rooms.

But the most common recipient of his hand-me-down winnings is my lovely husband Mark. Now there have been some occasions in the past where Mark has benefited quite nicely from his status as the sole son-in-law. For example, he got a cool BMW t-shirt that he really liked. Other times, he hasn't made out so well. Behold the maroon rainsuit:



Sometimes even free isn't worth it.

Jordan + Ben = Too much cheek to be believed!

So Benjamin had visitors yesterday. My friend Melanie came by with her sister Heather and Heather's son Jordan. Jordan is exactly one month younger than Ben and is too cute to be real. He and Ben seem to be on a very similar developmental path - both heavyweights, both with crazy chubby cheeks, both catnappers, both chitter-chatterers. Except that Jordan's cheeks are even chubbier than Ben's, if you can believe it.

Now Ben has very little interest in other babies so he wasn't terribly impressed about the playdate but overall did very well in tolerating Jordan's present and even managed a few smiles for the girls. Which was nice as he's been a cranky pants lately. But the real fun was watching Jordan try out some of Ben's toys. The exersaucer wasn't so much of a hit - largely a lot of slumping and staring - but the Jolly Jumper, well, watch out! He was definitely digging it, which was awesome. And while Mel and Heather laughed at Ben in the jumper they really laughed at Jordan in the jumper. Because there is just nothing funnier than your own kid in a Jolly Jumper. It warms my heart to know it was invented by a Canadian.

4 months old

So tomorrow Ben will be 4 months old. I thought I'd post this little vid of when he was one week old. It's a testament to how far we've come that I can watch it and feel warm fuzzies instead of having a panic attack or the urge to vomit.

Healthy heart

Well, as you may remember, when Ben was in the hospital in November they found a heart murmur. While murmurs are pretty common in babies, they told us to follow-up around 4 months just to make sure it resolved. So yesterday was our appointment and Ben and I went off to the cardiologist and it's gone! Yeah! We're still waiting for the test results from one of the three tests they did to be 100% sure but everything looked good on the ultrasound and the doctor couldn't hear the murmur and assured me that Ben was A-OK.

At Ben's ultrasound in November, I had been very sleep deprived, very emotional, and very worried about Ben so I cried the whole way through. At this one, I was pretty sure he was okay - he's so healthy looking and thriving - so I wasn't nearly so upset. I watched a bit of the ultrasound and it brought me back to that first ultrasound when I was 7 weeks pregnant and all we could see was a tiny grey blob with a flickering centre - his tiny little beating heart. Amazing to think that was just over a year ago. In fact it was in February that we found out we were pregnant. My how things can change in a year!

BTW, I love this picture - his little hands are flying so fast they're a blur!

Ben and his mobile

So I'm finally figuring out how to actually work with digital video. Check out this video of Ben at 10 weeks watching his mobile. I was hoping to catch him laughing but by the time I got the camera going he was getting kind of cranky. More vids to come!

Jolly Jumpin'

So our new house was made for the Jolly Jumper. Nice thick frames around the doors to hang it from and nice wide archways to jump in. And Ben has been jumping. We put him in the Jolly Jumper and he goes to town - stomping, pivoting, jumping, stepping, bouncing, and all forms of craziness. As you can see from the photos below, however, it's very serious work. For us, on the other hand, many many laughs. Behold the Jolly Jumping Master at work!

Wireless drama

So, we are finally moved and in our new house, which is awesome. We're still renting but it feels much more like a home than our apartment did. And it actually costs $50 less a month than our apartment so it's a good deal all around. The movers were a little crazy but it was the first move that we didn't do ourselves so we have decided to overlook the fact that they scratched our table and that our brand new microwave doesn't work quite as well as it did before. This last weekend we got the last of our stuff out of the apartment - there was quite a bit - and Mark is handing in the keys today. So we are officially moved.

As part of the move, I've been excited to set up wireless internet in our new place. Being in a highrise on the 20th floor, there was too much signal congestion at our old place. But ack, what a headache. Largely because of stupid Bell. They always seem to suck so much. I've been on the phone with the help desk on and off all week and each time there advice is less helpful than the last. They don't seem to understand that I want a wireless connection and keep making all these fixes that require the computer is hardwired to the modem. Which doesn't work as there is no phone jack near my desk in this place and there are only a few ways to arrange the furniture here, none of which bring the desk any closer to the phone jack. Anyway, I finally stopped listening and muddled around myself and think I have it figured out. We shall see.

The place, however, is awesome. Buddy is loving it too. He has a backyard which is small but big enough for a game of fetch and squirrel watching. And he can sit in front of the back window all he wants and gaze out. Plus there are now two levels to our little home which means he can get away from Ben if he wants to. Poor Buddy was so excited when we moved in. Ben spent the day at my sister's and didn't come home until 9:00. I think Buddy had thought we were leaving Ben behind. He ran around all happy and crazy and then when Ben arrived he sulked off to his dog bed and stared at us with hound dog eyes for the next day and a half. I tell you, it's a tough life for a dog! :)

Smiling Ben

So for a while now Ben has been smiling and laughing. And we have been failing to catch it on film. Part of the problem is that Ben doesn't like having his picture taken so you only get a couple of chances before he stops smiling. Here is our last attempt.

New Year, New Look

So after not having posted in forever, I signed in to discover that Blogger has set up lots of new features, allowing you to customize your blog. And for hapless computer users like me who haven't been able to figure out how to do it on their own, they've included new features to upload links and photos. And so I have.

I love the photos in the sidebar. I know that it's not a very good picture of me but I have very few pictures of me in which I don't have a giant head, terrible skin, or a stupid expression on my face. But to make up for it, I've put a fantastic picture of Mark with Ben where Ben's Buddha belly is fully on display and an ever so cute shot of Ben on his playmat.

And I've included links to some of my favourite websites as well as my sister's blog, Everything Is A Spoon. Check it out. I feel so blog powerful, as if I can now share my vast wealth of internet knowledge with you all. God bless the point and click interface system (see that, "interface system", someone who knew about computers would not use those words. I hang my head in techno-idiot shame.)

New year, same vices

So happy new year blog people! I'm totally vibing on 2007 because 2, 5, and 7 are my favourite numbers and it has 2 of them and since I won't do much better than this until 2025, 2027, or if I'm really lucky, 2057, I'm going to take it! Huzzah! Mark and I had a very exciting new year's eve in which he went to bed at 10:15 and I just coming in from peeing Buddy when I heard the shouting outside and guessed it must be midnight. However, we did (wait for it) order pizza, so it wasn't all a bust.

I'm usually all about resolutions this time of year. I love the fresh start of January. I like to get all of my Christmas decorations away by January 2 and feel the newness of the year, the blank slate. Cheezy, I know, but I dig it. This year, however, time has lost all meaning and I'm not quite getting my fresh start feelings. Which might explain why I've been on a bit of a spending binge. Not huge. But I bought a couple of cd's for Ben (Sharon Lois and Bram), yet another book on infant sleep despite the fact that the last 5 I've bought haven't enabled me to make Ben sleep through the night, new baby gear, and I've even put in a ridiculously high bid on one of my favourite childhood toys on ebay. Oh, and I'm trying to pick out which video editing software I want to buy.

Now in fairness to me, some of these things were purchased with gift certificates but still, it's not good. I am, to say the least, a self-soothing shopper and this latest jag is all a by-product of the adjustment to my new life as a parent. But dear lord. I's just not good. Not good at all. But I do really really want that toy. I'll find out tomorrow if my bid has stood up or not. It would probably be best if it didn't but oh I hope it did!

Feeling tired

So it's been a long time since I posted. In part, this is because I was determined not to post again until I could find something other than Ben to post about. It's been a while since I had a good feminist rant or mocked popular culture or argued with stupid anonymous comment-leavers. But alas, my life these days is ever so small. Ever so small. Ben is pretty much all I have to talk about. Last month, I got some pictures printed from my digital camera for the first time ever. I've had the camera for over two years. I told everyone I knew about this ad nauseum for weeks. I forced everyone to look at the pictures over and over and over and had a general feeling of pride and accomplishment that rivaled finishing my master's thesis. Because I had done something. I had a product to show for it.

Ben's first Christmas was lovely. Even though my sisters are in Costa Rica, my parents and Mark and I had a lovely day. Ben was charming all day long and then had a full colic meltdown right as Christmas dinner hit the table. Which was actually a good thing because my mom confessed to me later that she thought we had been exaggerating the volume of Ben's screaming, the length of his screaming sessions, and the way nothing worked to calm him (Dr. Karp's five s's sadly do not work with this "new colic" that started a couple of weeks ago. Apparently what came before was just pre-colic, a warm-up if you will, to the real thing). We tired all the usual things - swaddling, rocking, swing, naked time, bath, new clothes, more clothes, less clothes, fresh diaper. Nothing. But eventually he just had enough and turned into a cooing darling just in time to say good night to my parents. Little monkey.

Ben has also started waking up every hour at night wanting to be held for a couple of minutes. He doesn't need much, maybe 5 minutes of attention, and then he's back to sleep. I am not so lucky however and have gone from sleeping seven hours a night (with one small break in the middle for the 2:30 feed) to 4 hours a night and it's killing me! Ahhhh. Starting to relive the horror of those early weeks.

But on a brighter note, Ben rolled over for the first time. My awesome little guy. Anyway, that's my post. All about Ben because nothing else ever happens. Ever.

Losing the joy

So I have to confess that I watch a lot of soap operas. This started in grade 6 or 7 when I watched Y and R for a few years. I then moved on to Days of Our Lives and I watched Days pretty faithfully for a good 10 or 15 years. My mom started watching Days when my older sister was born and it was our family soap. We used to set the VCR to tape it and then all watch it together after school. And let me tell you, the late 80's to mid-90's, those were the glory years of Days. Hope getting blown up over a vat of acid, John is Roman is John is Father John is Forrest Allamaine, Vivian burying Carly alive in the condo coffin, and of course, the ultimate, Marlena's possession by the devil. We would watch together and howl.

When I went to university, watching Days became a great way to meet people. Everyone who watched would gather in the common room at 1:00 every day. You had an instant conversation because you could talk about how awful the show was and laugh at all the actor's and reminisce about past plot lines. I know it sounds lame but it was a great way to meet people. My university roommate also got me watching General Hospital so I expanded my soap repertoire a little. Eventually even the guys got into it and would watch Days even when us girls weren't there.

I still tune into soaps. I can't pretend I don't because my husband will rat me out. Just from living with me, he knows the name of everyone on Days, half the people on General Hospital and does a wicked John Black impression. But I have to say, watching soaps by yourself just isn't that interesting. Half of the fun is making fun of them and you just can't really get the full effect alone. As well, when you don't watch every day, you just don't care very much about what's happening and if you don't care, soaps become very very dull very quickly. Lastly, I swear the soaps just aren't as good any more. I don't know if it's me or if it's just that soaps don't really work on a pop-cultural level anymore but they are just so boring and so lame.

Which is sad because catching up on soaps was one of the things I was looking forward to with the whole maternity leave thing. Oh well, at least there's still Family Feud to fulfill my shitty tv hankerings!

Oh Dr. Karp, you are a god here on earth

So first off, an update on the screaming. My friend Melanie, Hi Mel, told me that her sister has had good luck with calming her newborn using the techniques in Happiest Baby on the Block. I had read this book months ago and used some of the techniques but as the author, Dr. Karp, tells us, you must use all 5 of his calming techniques together for maximum effect. So last night we did them all - swaddle, side-lie, suck, shoosh and swing and lo, the screaming stopped. We then put Ben to bed swaddled and he slept for three hours! This was an hour more than his usual stretches so we were very excited. We also tried to provide some white noise with a radio turned on dead air but there really isn't such a thing as dead air in this city so music and weird tones kept breaking through. But I just downloaded some womb sounds so we'll try that tonight.

The second big news is that we took Ben in for his 6-week check up and he weighs 13 pounds. 13 pounds! This is enormo giant baby! But the midwife said still in the normal range. So hah! It wasn't just that he was big for his age in the womb, he's big for his age out here in the world too. Anyway, he is gaining weight faster than I can grow the muscles to lift him so my poor back is getting quite a workout these days. But Mark and I are getting more competent. We are now awesome at the bathing thing, I can cut his wee little fingernails like a pro, and we can both change a diaper in no time flat. We finally tracked down glass bottles so even though I'm not breastfeeding, I can still be a little bit earth-mothery. And now that we have a trick for the screaming, why, it's almost bearable!

But it's still very very hard. We're still counting down the days to three months, to six months, to kindergarten. But the thought of a second child doesn't make me want to cut out my reproductive organs with a rusty spoon anymore so things must be getting better. And this morning, Ben even cood at us and smiled at the pretty, pretty light coming through the window. And I started to have that feeling again, like I can see how this parenthood thing might be a good thing. :)