Squirrels from heaven

So Buddy and I were out in the park the other day and he was enjoying treeing squirrels. I don't let him off the leash to do this because 1) he's fast enough to catch and kill them (learned that the hard way) and 2) once he gets "squirrel crazy" he stops listening and won't come back when called. And I am so done chasing him through the park for over an hour and then having to go back to find his boot that flew off at some point. So what we do is slowly stalk the squirrel and then once we're close I say "Get 'im Buddy!" and Buddy lunges at the squirrel which promptly runs up a tree. Then Buddy barks at it a few times and we go on our way.

So we've done this a few times and are heading home when Buddy spots a squirrel already up in a tree and stops at the base of the tree to bark. And I'm watching him and seeing how cute he is when all of the sudden this black thing plummets out of the sky and hits him right in the face. And I'm all "WTF? Did someone just throw something at my dog?" And then I realize that a squirrel has fallen out of a tree right onto Buddy's mouth. Buddy has also come to the same realization at the same time. And the squirrel has just realized it has fallen on a dog. And so in the same instant we all start moving wildly - the squirrel tryiing to get its feet on the ground, Buddy trying to get his mouth on the squirrel and me yanking the leash in a panic. Luckily for the squirrel I was faster than Buddy. And poor Buddy was absolutely frazzled with the intensity of all of it.

The best part, though, was the old man who walked by while this was happening and gave me a dirty look like I was letting my dog eat squirrels. Dude, I do my best but when they leap from the treetops into his mouth, I can't do nothing about that.

Astroboy

The other day I was somewhere in the downtown area with Mark and I saw this. So I'm leaving it for you to figure out where it was.

So why did I call this post Astroboy, you ask? Simple. Remember at the end of the Astroboy cartoon (the only cartoon that was on Saturday afternoons in my childhood) when Astroboy would report in on what happened in that episode's "adventure" but (as the female narrator would tell us) "he made a mistake in order play with you" and you were supposed to try and figure out what the mistake was? And the worst part was that they never told you what the mistake was, you were just supposed to confer with your friends and try and figure it out. And dude, it was so hard! I could never find the mistake he made, no one could. I think it was all a mind game. Astroboy was a robot, he was toying with us humans - "I will make them think there is a mistake when there is no mistake. Their heads will explode and then robots can take over the earth!" Okay, so that wasn't so funny. In fact, it was downright hack. What can I say? I'm tired.

Now She-Ra made it much easier. At the end they'd show a little clip and that fuzzy, rainbow animal creature would hide and you had to find it. And it would just be smack in the middle of the screen hiding behind a twig or a butterfly or something 1/20th of its size. That was much more my speed. In fact, it caused me so little stress that I had completely forgotten about it until my sister Kelly mentioned it to me a couple weeks ago whereas the agony of the Astroboy "game" has stayed with me for 20+ years. Stupid Astroboy and his Mensa games. Anyway, I will give the answer to my game to anyone who wants to know (so I expect emails from all three of you who read my blog!). I'll even give you a clue - we went to St. Lawrence Market and it was something we saw on the way there! Oh, I am so sad imagining anyone is actually going to try and find this little beaver. Ah well, we live and die by our delusions, what's one more? :)

Being crazy

So this week, I was riding a mental breakdown. I told my family about this and they asked what happened and I told them that I got overstimulated. At which they pretty much pissed themselves laughing because they were picturing a 5 year old at the fair who's eaten too much cotton candy, been on the tilt-a-whirl a few too many times and is overloading by the games guy pressuring him to throw rings at bottles. But seriously, that's how I felt. I was lying on the couch and I couldn't watch TV or read and when my husband tried to talk to me, I felt like I wanted to throw up just from the effort processing the sound of his voice. It totally sucked.

This is the thing about being crazy. 50% of the time, I feel pretty good, just like everybody else. 45% of the time, I feel like I struggle a little bit because I feel crappy - low mood, IBS, intense fatigue, irritability, panic attacks and all that. And then there's this weird 5% where I feel crazy. Just full on, there's something wrong with my mind, I'm not safe in my own skin, crazy. And dude, that 5% sucks really, really hard. And the worst part is, nothing helps. You just have to kind of ride it out.

Anyway, I am now feeling better, though still a tad shaky. The upside of all of this, however, is that Grocery Gateway is coming with a delivery for me in a few hours. Normally, I don't use GG because they're too expensive but when you're curled up in the fetal position of crazy, you are justified in spend a little extra dough to help you get through it. And man is there something sweet about groceries delivered to your door. Because I personally hate hate hate making two trips with groceries. It's a long, long way from our parking spot to our apartment. And before the car, I had to actually carry groceries home and up and down steps. So there's always a part of me that's calculating as I shop if I can carry everything in one load, part of me that's always looking at the number of heavy items in my cart. But with GG, you just pile it on because somebody else is doing all the lifting. Too sweet. Plus it means that tomorrow Mark and I can do something fun instead of entering the hell on earth that is the grocery store on a Saturday. Which is a good thing because the snow started falling last night which means we have to get some new boots for our dog cause there's no way I'm using the same boots as last year. But as Tales from the Riverbank would say "But that's another story." Go Hammy!

Warning: Post in which I share too much information

So I got my period a couple of days ago! Yeah me! And while you might wonder why this is such a momentous occasion as don't most women get their periods, let me assure that it is. You see, I have been off the pill for three months after spending 15 years on it! 15 years! Over half my life. And it amazes me to see that my body can actually behave the way it is supposed to without chemical intervention. Especially since for the last 3 years, I really haven't been getting my period at all because my body adjusted to the pill too much for it to happen. So it's been pretty frickin' cool.

What's even cooler is that I've been charting my basal body temperature to track ovulation and this month, everything happened exactly like the book said it would. My temperatures varied but on average for the first 14 days they were .25 degrees lower than the second 12 days - a raise in temperature of .15-.5 degrees signals ovulation. Then, on the 27th day, my temperature plunged back down and that afternoon, just like the book said, I got my period. Pretty frickin' awesome. I know the thrills seem negligible but I am in awe of my body right now. It actually works.

It is especially awesome for me because my body and I have such a bad relationship and between IBS and acne, and weight issues, and headaches and body pains, and my lack of coordination, and depression, and panic attacks, well, sometimes it feels like my body is completely broken. So this is just cool. Plus, it means maybe I'll actually be able to get pregnant next year. Now that would be amazing!

Yeah for Erin and her magical menstruating body!!

Racism, thy name is Erin

So in my schooling we have been carefully sensitized to issues of cultural diversity. This means that when I am working with clients of a different ethnic background from mine (you know, generic white girl) then I try not to act like a racist ass. Alas, last week I saw a client, a young black woman, and was trying so hard not to be a racist ass that I ended up being a racist ass. I know, you are shocked, but let me explain myself.

I have found that, counselling here in Toronto, at least 75% of my clients were not actually born in Toronto (I don't know about Toronto, everyone born here seems anxious to get out!). And so I routinely ask where people were born. But I know that people often make the assumption that people of colour are all immigrants so while I was talking to my client, I was reflecting on this and decided not to ask "Where were you born" which might imply that I am assuming that she was born outside of Canada but "Are you from Toronto originally?" which is a bit more neutral because hardly anyone is ever from Toronto but it still leaves room for her to be fully Canadian. Of course, what came out of my mouth was "Are you from Ca... Toronto?" Ugh. And though she didn't flinch, she answered "I was born in [this Canadian city]. My parents were born in [another country]. Gak. Chalk up one more white person assuming she's an immigrant.

Later we were talking about her school and work history. Given things she had told me about herself so far, I assumed that she had gone to university. But at the last second I thought, "Wait, maybe she didn't. I don't want to just assume that she did in case it makes her feel bad." So with this thoughtful caveat in mind, I ever so sensitively fumbled out "So, did you end up going to university?" Which in itself might not have been so bad but on the heels of the "Are you an immigrant" fiasco felt like more racist innuendo. And she replied that yes she did and she studied [an incredibly difficult subject that impresses the hell out me whenever someone is studying it]" To which I responded, "Wow." Seriously. "Wow." Which of course makes it sound like I was 1) surprised that a black woman went to university and 2) surprised that a black woman studied this crazy hard subject. I should add here that I knew from our previous conversation that at some point she had left the crazy hard field and gone into an equally impressive creative field but didn't know if she had done this before or after finishing her degree in the crazy hard subject. So to top off the whole ridiculous mess, I blurted out "So did you end up finishing that degree?" like she was some crazy black cracked out drop out. Grrr.

Anyway, in my many attempts to avoid wording things offensively, I just ended up wording things offensively. She took it all in stride. I can't say that she found everything offensive that I am worrying about but I do know that my friends have told me about the racism they experience all the time in situations just like this. I just so didn't want to be one of those health professionals. Alas. Next time, I'm just going to ask the questions straight because, dude, "Where were you born?" is waaaaaay better than "Were you born in Ca... Toronto?"