BudBuck

So we are home again after a fantastic Christmas in which Buddy, as is usual, set all the rules. Mark and I went to my parents' cottage for Christmas. Along with my parents, sisters, grandmother and uncle, it was a pretty packed little two-bedroom place! All the sleeping areas at my parents' are in the basement and the main floor houses the kitchen and living areas. Mark and I don't allow Buddy into the bedroom for two reasons - 1) we hope to have kids soon and plan on co-sleeping with baby and so have decided not to let Buddy get used to sleeping in the bedroom and 2) he'd jump all over us and hog the bed and otherwise disrupt our sleep. So at the cottage, my sister's cat goes into the one room that has a door that closes (Simon is notorious for disrupting sleepers) and Buddy stays in the open concept living room. We barricade the stairway with chairs to prevent him from coming down into the basement and bothering people. This has worked very well in the past but not this time.

Buddy busted through the barricade as soon as the lights went out. My sister was the last one to bed and said that he had been lying with his head and paws breaching the barricade and that as soon as she turned out the lights, he slithered like the Grinch right through the chair barrier and was down at our bedroom door in a flash. So I took him back upstairs and added some more chairs to the barrier, criss-crossing them to shore up any holes and weak points. Five minutes later there is a bark and whining at the door of the bedroom. I don't know what kind of doggy gymnastics he was doing up there but at that point I gave up, grabbed my blankets and slept up on the couch in the living room so that he wouldn't spend all night trodding on my poor sisters on his way to our bedroom and keeping everyone up with his pitiful moaning. Oh Buddy!

Anyway, one of my gifts was Photoshop! Woo hoo! I am learning to work the tools and have created BudBuck! You can see it's a little amateur - I didn't take the time to feather out his ruff and blend it naturally into the deer's chest. But I did use fancy tools to erase the deer's ears and replace them with natural background grasses. I also got wicked gifts handmade by my crafty sisters that I will post later. Fun Christmas -yeah!

Why would you do this to me? Why?

I saw this picture at Dooce.com today (if you don't read Heather Armstrong's blog, you really should. Especially if you have ever been depressed and/or have or want to have children. Go there. Immediately. www. dooce.com. Well, maybe finish reading my blog first) and I had to post it. This is her two year old daughter, Leta, on Santa's knee. I just frickin love it.

Both Eaton Centre and Yorkdale Mall have a day when you can bring your pet for a picture with Santa. And I mean, come on, how cute would Buddy be with Santa. Our sweet little man is so photogenic! But given that Buddy is startled by plastic bags that blow in the wind and pieces of cardboard that slide off piles of snow at a slightly downward trajectory, I'm not sure he could handle it. Not to mention the fact that Buddy gets very excited when we go new places. Think junior kindergartner who just ate 25 pixie sticks kind of excited. The mall, with all the people, colours, smells and movement would probably flip him right out. On top of that, I don't think even a calm Buddy would let me sit him with a stranger and then walk away. That would create the doggy version of Leta's reaction. Ah well, I guess we'll just have to try for another year of the Santa hat!





Merry Christmas!

WTF Award: Elle Macpherson

So apparently, Elle Macpherson doesn't like it when women wear unmatched underwear sets. The following I got off msn a couple of days ago:

The Australian-born beauty says she can't stand it when girls' bras and knickers don't match.The 42-year-old revealed: "I believe in matching underwear, even if it's your comfy bra."Wearing unmatched lingerie is like wearing one brown sock with one blue one."The stunning model - who has her own range of lingerie - also warned women to avoid showing off tell-tale pantie lines.She said: "None of my knickers have elastic around the bottom, so there's no knicker line."Earlier this year a controversial advertising campaign for the star's Elle Macpherson Intimates was given permission to be shown on Australian TV screens.Viewers had complained about the ad - which showed an underwear-clad woman handling knives before cutting to two women having a knife fight.It closed with a woman cleaning blood off the kitchen floor.However the Advertising Standards Board in Australia passed the raunchy campaign.

Okay, first of Elle, fuck off with the whole underwear thing. I have a bra I like, I have a brand of underwear I like. It's no one's business and certainly not yours. If I want to look sexy, I'll wear sexy underwear but on most days, underwear is there to serve a FUNCTION, not to please others. Right now, not only do my bra and underwear not match, my underpants even have holes in them. Like it's not bad enough we have to worry about whether or not our outer clothes are fashionable, now supermodels can slam our undies and it's news? Seriously, fuck off. And, FYI, I do wear mismatched socks. You know why? Because they're just socks. Unless I'm going to meet the queen, IT DOESN'T MATTER.

As for visible panty lines, get over it. I mean, I agree that if you’re going to wear slinky pants or a barely-there dress, you should probably wear a thong. I’ll give you that – it’s all part of the look. But if I’m going about my daily life in my regular clothes and you can tell – gasp! – that I’m wearing underwear, so what? If you don’t like it, don’t look at my ass, how about that? I’m so tired of all this panty line bullshit. It’s just one more way to keep women preoccupied with others’ evaluation of their appearance and to reinforce internalized beauty standards and an objectified body consciousness in order to deepen shame, maintain oppression, and sell products. Don’t by into it. Wear a thong if you want to and regular underwear if you don’t and let them deal with it!

Finally, WTF with EM’s commercial? Women having knife fights in their underwear? ????????????? Wow Elle. I’m sooooo glad you enriched our lives with yet another celebrity lingerie line. I know that was really missing in my life. And it’s great how you combined sexuality and violence and marketing into one titillating money grab. It’s not like women around the world face violence and abuse every day. And it’s not like women are degraded by violent pornography that encourages rape fantasies and desensitizes men to violence against women. It’s not like we are affected by continuous images of violence on television, becoming desensitized to the suffering of others. It’s really wonderful how you had the women fighting each other because I like to see stereotypes of bitchy, competitive women trying to take each other out. It’s not like those stereotypes serve to separate us from each other and diminish our power as women. And finally, how thoughtful that you included a final image of a woman wiping blood from her kitchen floor. That captures womanhood as I understand it - not only can we sex it up by stabbing each other in lace panties, but we can still care for our homes. That’s the true superwoman of the new millennium. If there was only some way for the one woman to make out with the other woman while she stabbed her or have her have to a give a blowjob afterwards once she’s done with the killing or something. That’s the kind of thing I’d really like to see.

To Elle Macpherson, for single handedly undermining everything feminism stands for and for being such a fucking crazy insult to women around the world, I bestow the WTF award. Congratulations Elle. I think I will wear mismatched socks for the rest of the week in tribute to your massive ignorance.

The Wrath of Buddy

So this week I got in biiiiiig trouble with Buddy. Hoo boy!

Buddy, as you may know by now, is an extremely sensitive dog. My husband and I refer to him as an indigo dog (based on a book called Indigo Children which is all about very senstive children and how difficult our harried, modern world is for them). When I took Buddy to the groomer, he wouldn't look at me or cuddle with me for two days. When Mark went away for 5 days this summer, Buddy gave him the cold shoulder for almost a month. If dogs in the park play a little too rough, Buddy runs over and barks at them and if their owners try to discipline them, Buddy tells them off too. He likes predictability, harmony, and a constant flow of treats.

Buddy has a signature move that lets us know when we've displeased him somehow. On a typical evening, Mark and I each occupy one end of the couch (scrunched up to make more room for his royal heiny-ness) while Buddy sprawls in the middle. We then usually laugh at him and poke him and play with his ears. But if one of us goes to far, he lets us know. Usually this one is Mark so I'll explain it that way. First Buddy will huff, a quick, audible exhale of disapproval. Then he will slowly get up and reposition himself right in tight against me and settle in with his back against my legs or side, facing Mark. He will then give Mark "the stare," glaring at him while he nestles into me, just to make it really clear who is the favoured parent, and who is in the proverbial doghouse.

Well this week I was the target of the stare and Mark was the chosen cuddler. My vast offense? I wouldn't let him lick my pants. Buddy is spoiled, this is not news to anyone. I had been eating crackers in my pj's and wiped my crummy fingers on the outside of my thigh. For some reason, Buddy felt this was a clear indication that he should be able to lick my pj's. I will let Buddy do many things but I will not let him lick people's clothing. I have to draw a line somewhere and that is where I drew it. Buddy was not pleased. It was over TWO HOURS before he would cuddle with me again.

Take heed you of the crummy hands. Invoke ye not the wrath of Lord Budworth Fussington III unless you are prepared for the dread horror of his soul-shattering Stare. :)