Mom don't read this - I MEAN IT!! :)

So, for Mother's Day, my little sister, Kelly and I went together to get mom a present. Given that she and I share some grassroots-esque type leanings, we thought we'd get mom a "donation in your name" kind of gift. Heifer International gives animals to people in developing countries to provide them with both food and livelihood (www.heifer.org). So we thought that sounded good and got down to the serious business of picking which sort of animal to purchase. In our price range, the choices were chickens, geese, ducks and bees.

Well, as you may or may not know, I hate geese. This loathing has a two-fold origin. First, I grew up in London, Ontario and frequently went to a little place known as Storybook Gardens in Springbank Park. Storybook Gardens is a nursery-rhyme themed playground with slides and sculptures and a few animals (well, they said they had animals, you rarely actually saw them, but that's another post). ANYWAY, there was a concession stand in Storybook where you could get, among other things, snowcones and french fries. So, we often had fries for lunch while we were there. And also in Storybook Gardens and the park in general, there were Canada geese just walking around. A lot geese. And let me tell you, they understood french fries. As soon as you got your fries, you better believe they were there, trying to peck them out of your hands.
And when you're five and you're small and not that quick, it is a long trip from the concession stand to the picnic table. And even once you're there, they're there too waiting, honking, ruffling their feathers menacingly. Seriously, it was scary.

The same is true of the stupid geese at York University, where I studied for one year before I got the hell out and went to U of T. My residence was right beside a nice pond where I and my friend (now my husband) used to like to go. But try to sit there and have a nice lunch in the sunshine. First, goose shit everywhere. Second, the geese would attack white styrofoam containers and brown paper bags. They had figured that shit out, let me tell you. Sometimes I used to leave by paper bag out as a decoy to try and distract them while I ate my actual food. Ah, the taxing work of Fine Arts undergrad at York - trying to outsmart geese.

So long story long, Kelly and I didn't want to buy geese. We also didn't want to buy chickens, because, well, they're ugly. Which left us with ducks and bees. Kelly however, was quite concerned that bees might be a handful for the first-time beekeeper. She had fears of vast stingings about the face and arms for our hapless recipients, not to mention the possibility of allergic reactions with no epi-pen in sight. We investigated a little more and discovered that basic training was provided along with the bees which waylaid her fears somewhat. What was unclear, however, was whether protective gear was part of the deal. The description said they would receive a hive and box but it said nothing about face guards (you know the beekeeping hat with the mesh face) and gloves. There were two pictures of happy recipients, one with a hat and no gloves, the other with gloves but no hat. This filled Kelly with a feeling of foreboding. Not wishing to condemn our poor recipient to a life of stings and fevered bouts of potentially fatal allergic reactions, we decided to go with the ducks. The website said they could be used for eggs or meat and that their poo makes good fertilizer. Plus it had pictures of fluffy little ducklings (not the one posted above, I took that at Humber Bay Park last spring). Who doesn't love ducklings? Really!

Sidenote: according to the spell check, there are no such words as "beekeeper" and "ducklings." Hmmm.

The Rot sets in....

I have wrinkles. There is absolutely no denying it any longer. For a while, I had the kind of wrinkles around my eyes that went away after a good night's sleep and across my forehead that went away once exams were done. And then after a while, they stopped going away. And I told myself "It's just that I haven't been getting enough sleep. I'm so run down and stressed all the time." But you know what? It's not true. No matter how much I sleep or what blissful zen state I enter, I still have wrinkles. And not only can you see them, you can feel them. Right now, I can feel little creases around my eyes.

This, I believe, is all part of a process that I like to call the Rot. Now I know, it's the age of the modern woman, and as a feminist, I'm supposed to embrace aging but whatever. I have an intense fear of aging and of death. On my FOURTEENTH birthday, I was sad to be getting older. And every year since has been the same. And here is what I have learned about the aging process - it's all downhill after 25. Now that is an average. Certain elements you can push up to 30 or so but basically 25 is it. Don't get me wrong. I know that life has many joys in the later years and that people complete staggering feats of intelligence, creativity, and strength after the age of 30. I'm just talking pure physiology and cellular processes. That's what starts to decline after 25. After that skin starts to lose its natural elasticity, fertility declines, your cognitive processes are less efficient, you capacity to absorb new information shifts downward, your flexibility reduces, your muscle mass reduces.

Of course, many of these processes can be slowed, prevented etc. but after 25 you can't just do nothing and keep improving. You have to actively prevent the decaying process. Yes, decaying. What else do you call the slow decline of your body's cells? This, my friends, is the Rot. Rotting on the bone for the rest of our years.

So what to do? I need botox. Seriously. I can't use all those anti-wrinkle creams because my skin still breaks out if I put anything but Noxema on it. So unfair - acne and wrinkles all at the same time! And I don't care what any product claims - I have never found a moisturizer that didn't make me 1) super oily looking or 2) break out. That's it. I mean, not only do I not moisturize but I put super drying creams on my face every night. Honestly, I'm just screwed. It's so sad to get to the stage where you can look back on pictures of yourself when you actually looked younger and better. It's also sad to know that I have now looked as good as I will ever look. So depressing. Stupid Rot. And I do need botox - I am constantly stressed and my forehead is wrinkled a good 65% of the day because of it. Even right now, the computer monitor makes me squint a little. I have to consciously relax my forehead. As soon as I start thinking about something else, it will wrinkle back up again. Ugh.

Ha, my dog is dreaming beside me. His paws are all twitching rapidly and he's kind of snorting - must be barking at squirrels in his dreams. I love my dog.

Rabbit holes and coloured pills - wtf with feminism?

Okay, here is the problem with feminism and feminist psychology. They're depressing as hell. It's no wonder feminists get a bad rap. They're either fucking with a power system that others are benefiting from or they're offering the oppressed and downtrodden bleak world views. Don't get me wrong. I'm a feminist. I think I'm far enough down the pathway that there's no turning back. I mean, you can't unknow what you know. Once you've opened your eyes, closing them again doesn't mean you didn't see what you saw. It's just every now and then, I miss my old way of living in the world. It was a nice, peaceful, ignorantly entitled way of viewing things. Sort of the like the Matrix, with the whole red pill/blue pill thing or whatever it was. I sometimes feel like I picked the wrong pill.

But, be that as it may, feminism is rarely boring. And it does give me some place to direct all my irritation at modern society. And it dovetails nicely with lots of other political issues. But it sucks the joy out of things. Bleak, bleak, bleak.

Ah, the joys of the dissertation process. I think it's starting to get to me.... lol

Ads that piss me off - #5: Calvin Klein Kiddie Porn

I girlfriend of mine sent this image to me after a morning of outrage riding the rails and staring at it. I had also been seeing it everywhere and feeling quite irked but also somewhat amused at how little creativity is in the CK department. I mean, for the last ten years, have they shown anything in their ads besides underage teens in their underwear? Not to mention that one of their recent lines of lingerie has drawings of underage girls in their underwear as the pattern on the underwear. Cause that's exactly what I want on my underwear. WTF? Seriously.

But seriously, look at this ad. First of all, how old is this girl. Look closely at her face. To me, she looks about 14 or 15. Second, look at the size of her. What is with Calvin Klein and the starved models. It's like the advertising heads have mounted a campaign for well over a decade now which promotes weightism, ageism, racism, and sexism. Way to go, Calvin Klein. And really, can someone tell me how to differentiate this from kiddie porn? Some days I find the complete lack of corporate ethics so sickening. And it always makes me feel so powerless.

It's interesting, you know, when you think about it. I feel like I have so little power. For financial and environmental reasons, I usually take the TTC around Toronto. So I pay $2 a ride with tokens or almost $100 a month on a pass. I am forced to view ads which I find offensive and demeaning. When I complain about these ads, I only receive a standard response (not everyone likes all of the advertising we display, we will forward your concerns to the department which selects out ads, blah, blah, blah). I've never had a complaint I've made to a company responded to and for ads like stupid Julie's Story, you have to spend hours online just to find out what company is behind it. So basically, you just feel like you're trapped on the subway with no way to fight back (especially since I'm too chicken to be a good culture jammer and write all over the posters). I suppose I could drive more, but then I would be forced to look at these ads as they line the streets on bus shelters and billboards. It's like you just can't turn it off. And being at a university, I have ads in the elevators, ads in the bathroom stalls, ads in the libraries. I just can't take urban living. It just grinds down the soul.

CK sucks ass. Stupid Calvin "Kiddie Porn" Klein. Fuck.

Harry Potter and the Evils of Procrastination

Well, it's been a long, long time since I have posted and I offer my apologies. I have been procrastinating on a paper by reading the Harry Potter books over again and now I am overcome with Harry fever! I can't wait for the sixth book. Apparently, there is all sorts of good back story on Snape and why Dumbledore trusts him and on James and Lily. Something huge about Lily is revealed in the sixth or seventh book. Who knows? There are websites all over where they try and figure everything out but I haven't been reading them too closely. I don't really want to know anything ahead or figure anything out. I will say though that there are people out there who take it waaaay too seriously.

Anyway, I've posted a pic from the fourth movie, which I am also excited about. I love Rupert Grint (Ron). He just cracks me up with his great face. And I love his long shaggy hair in the 4th movie. Above is a scene from Yule Ball when he's in his second hand "dress robes." Too funny.
I'm excited about this movie as Goblet of Fire is one of my favourites in the series (I think Philosopher's Stone is my very fav though - it's just such a good beginning!). There's a LOT to pack into this movie though and I'm not sure how successfully they'll be able to do it. I found that was already a problem with Prisoner of Azkaban - the character development and flow of the film really suffered in the attempt to cram all of the critical plot elements in. I also strongly disliked the new Dumbledore. Dumbledore had been played by Richard Harris who I thought gave an excellent portrayal of age and wisdom with the lighthearted slyness and the quiet empathy that make him such a great character in the book. Unfortunately RH passed away and was replaced by Michael Gambon who I don't like at all. He has none of the warmth or understatedness that I associated with Dumbledore. I can only hope he'll do a better job in GoF than he did in PoA.

Anyway, for those of you who are similarly obsessed with HP, I suggest checking out www.mugglenet.com for more info on the movie and the book.


Funny Ron!

Media responsibility

Well, I just finished watching a tape of Sheena's Place (www.sheenasplace.org) annual forum on eating disorder prevention and I'm all riled up. A series of panelists presented on different programs aimed at preventing eating disorders and promoting balanced health. Every single one of them talked about media literacy as a crucial element in health promotion. And it got me thinking, given the overwhelming amount of evidence that exists indicating that media and advertising is detrimental to our well-being, why are there so few checks on what is allowable and so few incentives for supplying more positive, health-promoting media? For those of you who think that all this talk about the dangers of media are crap, I would advise you dig a little. Consuming various forms of media has been linked with lower self-esteem, increased depression, increased body dissatisfaction, desensitization to violence (physical, verbal, sexual), increased feelings of fear and insecurity in the community - the list goes on and on.

Now I know some of you are bristling and saying "Freedom of speech! If we start the censorship process, it's just a slippery slope towards 1984." And I agree with you. It is crucial that there are uncensored outlets for discussion, debate, and disagreement. But I'm talking about corporate responsibility and the responsibility that we have as a society to protect each other from things that are clearly damaging. The truth is, it's not so much about what's removing what's out there (though I would be happier if stupid Julie's Story would just disappear). It's more about increasing the amount of alternatives available. It drives me nuts to hear health professionals talk about the need for media literacy, to see study after study show the harms of media exposure and then to see things only escalate in terms of the blatant use of sexuality to sell product, the objectification of women in advertising, music videos, and well, pretty much everything, the use of violence, especially sexual violence, to add "spice" to tv shows, and the complete lack of diversity in most of the dominant media. We focus so much on how to help children (and adults) deal with the messages coming in and do very little to provide other sorts of messages.

The other thing I would challenge you to think about when it comes to censorship and the media is the fact that we, as in we the lowly consumers, are already largely censored by lack of access. Only those with the cash get to be heard. How much would it cost an individual to run a full page ad in the Toronto Star? How about to put a poster in a subway? How about to run a campaign with newspaper, radio, and television ads? Most companies have large advertising budgets and so the images they choose are everywhere. We have little say about what we are forced to look at as we walk down the street or ride the subway. Occasionally complaints will bring action - I once complained that Chapters had an extremely explicit selection of manga directly in the path of the entrance to the children's section. I'm all for manga but I don't think pictures of women tied up in chains and wearing straps of leather are appropriate for 5 year olds. They moved the display. It was good. But face it, most of the time, complaints fall on deaf ears and nothing changes unless there is MASS public outcry.

Which is what I dig about weblogs - free access. You only need a very little technical know-how and access to a computer, which most people can get at a library or community centre. It's also what I dig about culture jamming. It might just look like graffiti but at least it's a way to interact and to strike back at the images that strike at us. Of course, it's illegal which is interesting. I can be forced to look at ads that are damaging to my self-esteem and increase my feelings of depression (it's not like I can walk down the street with my eyes closed) but I am not allowed to do anything to remove, disrupt, or even slightly mar those ads. The whole thing makes me feel very, very angry and very, very powerless. It's so discouraging, the power of the corporation versus the power of the individual. Grrr, it's enough to make me want to live off the grid. Solutions anyone?