WTF Award: Elle Macpherson

So apparently, Elle Macpherson doesn't like it when women wear unmatched underwear sets. The following I got off msn a couple of days ago:

The Australian-born beauty says she can't stand it when girls' bras and knickers don't match.The 42-year-old revealed: "I believe in matching underwear, even if it's your comfy bra."Wearing unmatched lingerie is like wearing one brown sock with one blue one."The stunning model - who has her own range of lingerie - also warned women to avoid showing off tell-tale pantie lines.She said: "None of my knickers have elastic around the bottom, so there's no knicker line."Earlier this year a controversial advertising campaign for the star's Elle Macpherson Intimates was given permission to be shown on Australian TV screens.Viewers had complained about the ad - which showed an underwear-clad woman handling knives before cutting to two women having a knife fight.It closed with a woman cleaning blood off the kitchen floor.However the Advertising Standards Board in Australia passed the raunchy campaign.

Okay, first of Elle, fuck off with the whole underwear thing. I have a bra I like, I have a brand of underwear I like. It's no one's business and certainly not yours. If I want to look sexy, I'll wear sexy underwear but on most days, underwear is there to serve a FUNCTION, not to please others. Right now, not only do my bra and underwear not match, my underpants even have holes in them. Like it's not bad enough we have to worry about whether or not our outer clothes are fashionable, now supermodels can slam our undies and it's news? Seriously, fuck off. And, FYI, I do wear mismatched socks. You know why? Because they're just socks. Unless I'm going to meet the queen, IT DOESN'T MATTER.

As for visible panty lines, get over it. I mean, I agree that if you’re going to wear slinky pants or a barely-there dress, you should probably wear a thong. I’ll give you that – it’s all part of the look. But if I’m going about my daily life in my regular clothes and you can tell – gasp! – that I’m wearing underwear, so what? If you don’t like it, don’t look at my ass, how about that? I’m so tired of all this panty line bullshit. It’s just one more way to keep women preoccupied with others’ evaluation of their appearance and to reinforce internalized beauty standards and an objectified body consciousness in order to deepen shame, maintain oppression, and sell products. Don’t by into it. Wear a thong if you want to and regular underwear if you don’t and let them deal with it!

Finally, WTF with EM’s commercial? Women having knife fights in their underwear? ????????????? Wow Elle. I’m sooooo glad you enriched our lives with yet another celebrity lingerie line. I know that was really missing in my life. And it’s great how you combined sexuality and violence and marketing into one titillating money grab. It’s not like women around the world face violence and abuse every day. And it’s not like women are degraded by violent pornography that encourages rape fantasies and desensitizes men to violence against women. It’s not like we are affected by continuous images of violence on television, becoming desensitized to the suffering of others. It’s really wonderful how you had the women fighting each other because I like to see stereotypes of bitchy, competitive women trying to take each other out. It’s not like those stereotypes serve to separate us from each other and diminish our power as women. And finally, how thoughtful that you included a final image of a woman wiping blood from her kitchen floor. That captures womanhood as I understand it - not only can we sex it up by stabbing each other in lace panties, but we can still care for our homes. That’s the true superwoman of the new millennium. If there was only some way for the one woman to make out with the other woman while she stabbed her or have her have to a give a blowjob afterwards once she’s done with the killing or something. That’s the kind of thing I’d really like to see.

To Elle Macpherson, for single handedly undermining everything feminism stands for and for being such a fucking crazy insult to women around the world, I bestow the WTF award. Congratulations Elle. I think I will wear mismatched socks for the rest of the week in tribute to your massive ignorance.