Mr. Pants

So here is a recent picture of my dog, Buddy, doing the "I can't believe you're on the computer when you could be playing with me" look - a mix of self-pity, boredom, and resignation. My dog is not the best trained dog in the world. We have been very lazy with his training because he is naturally quite well behaved. He's a sweet boy.

When we first got him from the rescue agency, they were calling him Pong (he had a brother, Ping). These were names they gave them - they were found as strays. We didn't like Pong. Mark wanted to call him Chilly (well, he wanted Chili, but I insisted it be Chilly) but after a couple days, it just didn't seem to fit. So it was between Tucker and Buddy and Buddy won out. And he's responded really well to it.

Despite the fact that he is Buddy, here is a list of the many other names we (well, mostly me) call him:

Bud
Budman
Budster
Fussy Britches (he has fluffy, bushy back legs and a twitchy walk)
Sir Budworth Fussington III
Sir Budworth Fussington of the Shire
Sir Fuss-a-lot
Mr. Man
Mr. Moo
Mr. Pants
Mr. Mister
Mr. Aliwister
Poops
Poopers
Pooper-scooper
Magoo
Mongrel
Mugwump
Doggin
Woggin
Baby boy
Sweetie
You
Crazy dog
Silly dog
My little guy
All natural white pistachio nut (this would be his show name if he weren't a mutt)
Sneezer
Cutie

And I think there's probably a few more. It's all just gibberish to him of course. He'll come to anyone who says "So-and-so, come!" in the right voice. We discovered this a few weeks ago at the cottage when my sister was calling her cat and Buddy kept running over. We eventually had to hold him back so that the cat could get to his food dish without Buddy running all over. Ah, dogs. You gotta love 'em.

I'm not laughing because misogyny isn't funny

So, as I'm sure you know, feminists are often accused of being humourless. And let's face it, sometimes we are. Reading feminist literature or discussing feminist issues typically involves feeling somewhat bogged down by the hopelessness of the situation and feeling slightly helpless against the massive tidal wave that is global misogyny (don't believe me - think sex trade, think rape as a war crime, think the stoning of women for adultery while men go free, think honour killings, think wage disparity, think breast implants etc.). But there is a good reason why feminists often seem to lack humour - humour is often used as a catch-22 form of control over women and other groups. It goes like this - someone tells a sexist joke and either a) you don't say anything and the joke, which is derogatory and offensive, is passed off as acceptable rather than prejudiced or b) you say something and get accused of having no sense of humour, being "one of those" kind of women (you know, hysterical, feminist, lesbian, man-hating etc.), and of taking everything too seriously when it's "just a joke." It might be "just a joke" to the teller but humour that is degrading is just another form of sexism and it takes aim at women's sense of self worth and chips away at their power.

So why, do you ask, am I ranting about this? Alas, a family member who is otherwise fairly good about not getting tied up in gender role crap, shared a joke with me that I shall summarize for you here. Basically, it was sort of a fake ad, suggesting that men, if they have a nagging wife who wants them to do yardwork when there is a football game on, should consider surreptitiously shooting their wives with a tranquilizing blow dart to get out of it - she'll never know it was you, and you don't have to deal with her nagging. Such blow darts can also be useful to ensure the sanctity of poker night, golfing or other such activities that nagging, pesky, annoying wives are always getting in the way of.

Of course, I found this joke extremely offensive and tried to explain it. I'm not sure I made much impact. Of course, my relative claimed that he just shared it to "get me going." As if this is less offensive? "I am going to tell you a joke that attacks your value system and demeans you as a person because it is funny to watch you get worked up about it." Seriously not cool. To add salt to the wound, this joke was apparently picked up at his workplace which is largely male and very privileged. Which just goes to show that at the top of the corporate world, swapping such jokes over the water cooler is completely acceptable. I find this extremely disturbing.

I am also very pissed off at the joke. Shoot your wife with a blowdart because she's a nag? WTF? Violent imagery much? Vast devaluing of women as persons much? Don't like what she's saying, tranq her with a blowdart. I also HATE nagging wife jokes. Women are just sort of automatically put in charge of family life, even if they're also workers outside the home. They have to keep track of birthdays, buying the presents and the cards. They have to monitor the routines of the house - what needs fixing, what needs cleaning, what needs replacing when. They keep track of appointments, of meetings, of which friends and family members are visiting, sick, need help etc. They wash the sheets and towels, buy the toilet paper and the dishsoap. True, there are some households were the men fully and completely share in these household activities, but generally, even when men are helping out, the burden of keeping track of family and household falls disproportionately to the women.

And then men have the nerve to call them nags and to complain that their wives are on their backs. The nagging wife is such a demeaning stereotype. It takes a woman, who is voicing her needs and asking for help in meeting them, and reduces her to a whining shrew. It's just a tool for silencing. It calls up such bad imagery, who would want to be labeled a nag? It's a shaming word and again a catch-22. Either you reduce you're demands to avoid being called a nag or you speak your demands and are cast as unreasonable, demanding, and difficult. Either way, you end up not getting the help you need and somehow feeling bad about yourself and angry at your spouse. Not cool.

And of course, my relative didn't mean all of these things when he told me the joke but these were all the things I felt. It was really awkward for me because this is someone that I love very much, whose approval is important to me, and whom I am not all that comfortable criticizing in a serious manner. I was very upset for a while afterwards plus I was worried that I had offended him. That one little joke made me miserable for about four hours that night and it still makes me unhappy now. Even as I write this post, I feel angry about the joke but also worried about what he'll think if he reads it. It's a lot of shit to put a person through just to get a laugh.

And it's not that I don't have a sense of humour, it's that the joke isn't funny. Seriously, it's not funny. It's misogyny at work, whether he realized it or not. I would invite you, gentle readers, not to take part in that sort of humour, nor to stand idly by. Fight the good fight. Sexism comes in both large and small packages but it's all the same old shit.

You should adopt a dog - yes you!

So I love my dog, Buddy. He just rocks. We adopted him last August and it's been such an awesome experience. He makes me laugh almost every day. Today we went to dog park and he was digging a big hole and kept looking up at my with a nose full of dirt and a huge smile on his face. He is also the sheriff of dog park and runs around breaking up fights and barking at suspicious looking characters. We got him a new toy yesterday as he put one to rest at the cottage last week. It was a sad moment for me because the toy we retired was the first toy we ever bought for him. I'm such a revolting dog mom. Buddy is spoiled rotten and I love it. He's just too damn cute.

Which brings me to my point - everyone must go adopt dogs. Shelters are such miserable places and while foster homes are better, dogs need their special people and a forever home. Dogs are great - they are funny and silly and cuddly and get you outside and active and meeting people. They keep you warm in the winter too! Plus you can dress them up in little outfits, teach them tricks and show them off to your friends.

www.petfinder.com has dogs available all over North America - you just enter in your city. For those of you in the T.O. area, there are lots of wicked dogs available right now. If you like bigger dogs, do a regional search for the Toronto area and check out Luky, Samantha, and Luke. If you like smaller dogs, try Chico, Sunny, Tassel and Minnie. The dog in the picture is Jesse. He's available too! Go now, do it! Adopt a dog!!!!!! YEAH FOR DOGS (ESPECIALLY BUDDY)!!!!!!!!

Greetings from the cottage

Mark and I are at the cottage for a few days, taking a break from big city living. The cottage, which is my parents', is in Port Stanley on Lake Erie. It's awesome. Everytime we come here we daydream about staying forever.

It's been very eventful so far, especially for our dog Buddy. On our first day, he encountered no less than 2 snakes. He chased the first one through the brush on the hillside until it turned around and struck at him. At that point, he thought the best plan of attack was to bark at it from a safe distance several feet away. The second one he let go with only a few swipes of his paw, for show more than anything. Last night he encountered some bunnies, which definitely needed a good barking. He also took on Lake Erie. After being smacked twice with waves while trying to nip a quick drink, he began running along the shoreline barking at the lake. Go Buddy!

This morning we took Buddy for a walk and then laid in our lawnchairs until the sun got too hot and we had to move. This afternoon we're having barbeque for lunch - yum. And as a little icing on the cake, Mom and Dad have satellite television and I was able to watch One Tree Hill. I love that show and Global just dropped it with no warning. It was most exciting to see it again! And Mark has been able to take in many bike shows on Extreme TV.

Ah cottage living. A person could get used to this.

Oh, John Black, how can you see through that squinting eye?

So, I am sitting here at 8:56, waiting for the OC to finish. Why, do you ask? Because I have set my VCR to tape it and soon it will be over and I can rewind it and then I can watch it. I have to say, I am not very pleased with the OC lately. Not that it was ever a high-caliber show, but this last season, it really seems to have disintegrated into crap. As has Days of Our Lives. I have been watching Days for, let me count, 17 years. Holy shit, that's a long time. I have made some of my best friends at university sitting in the common room watching Days. I have inaugurated my husband into Days such that he can name most of the Bradys and does a mean John Black impression. I saw Hope die FOUR times (if it were real life, her kids would be soooo fucked up. Can you imagine if your mother died and came back from the dead FOUR times???). I saw Vivian Allemain roll around on top of the grave where she had buried someone alive. I saw Stefano fool the detectives of Salem by wearing sunglasses and a fake moustache (he truly is the master of disguise). I saw Marlena levitate above her bed and I saw Isabella morph into a demon.

Dude, I've seen it all. I stuck with that show through some lean, mean times. But now, it's so boring. It is so boring that I, a fan of 17 years, have been unable to stomach watching a full episode for over a year. I have such a relationship with the show, it's taken me a while to come to terms with how much it sucks. First, I stopped watching the show regularly. I would just read the daily synopsis on my website and decide if I wanted to tune in the next day. Then, I stopped tuning in at all and just read the synopsis. Then the daily synopsis (synopsis, synopsis, synopsis, I don't think I've ever written the word synopsis so many times before) became too boring so I just started reading the weekly, short-form synopsis. Now I occasionally read the spoilers.

I admit, though, I did tune in the other day. I saw in the grocery store that Roman and Marlena were about to escape the island where they've been held captive and reunite with John Black and Kate. Since John Black crying with joy is one of my favourite mocking points on Days (along with Marlena's $4 million gasp and Stefano being hit my lightening), I tuned in just for a good laugh. I was sorely disappointed when he did not cry with joy, instead staggering around slightly and opening and closing his mouth like a fish flopping around on the dock. He also had a walking stick with an eight ball on the top for a handle. I haven't been watching - I'm assuming it was a gift of significance from Kate - so I can't say for sure what the deal was but I thought it was crap. John Black would never carry an eight-ball walking stick. As if. He's too James Bond for that. That's more a Bo Brady thing. lol

Anyway, the show is shit. That's all. OC's over now so I'm off to watch!

WTF Award - the first recipient: THAILAND and the Metro

Okay, so as those of you who check in semi-regularly know, I keep track of "ads that piss me off" and share them with you guys titled as such. Well, yesterday I came across this in the Toronto Metro and since it wasn't technically an ad, I couldn't place it under ads that piss me off so I have instead created the "What the Fuck?" awards. They will be given to stories, occurrences, public displays that just baffle me with their immense stupidity, ignorance, etc.

So first up is this. In case you can't make out the caption, Thailand hold the "Miss IMF" contest - IMF short for I Am Fat - in which they find the woman who most resembles an elephant in "elegance, size, and grace." This is reportedly done to promote elephant conservation.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against saving the elephants. I just think it's very sad that at least some people in Thailand value elephants more than women. I mean, come on! Is there any way of looking at this that is not degrading and offensive? And WTF with the Metro running this as a humourous piece of amusing world news rather than recognizing it as sexist, fat-phobic bullshit?

Anyway, this is what I was reading in the paper as I traveled to my body image therapy group. Made me feel real good. Thanks Thailand. And thank you, too, Metro.

WTF Award recipient, May 2005.

Seriously though, WTF?

Behold TEAM FALCON!!

Our mighty mascot!

Jill and Kelly cross the finish line!

So this Sunday my sisters and I took part in the Bell Walk for Kids to help support Kids Help Phone. This is something that we just started doing in the last year. I am all about Kids Help Phone as I have learned through my work that many kids use it. Last year Kelly and I walked for the first time in the freezing rain, risking hypothermia in the name of charity! This year Jill joined us. And so did the sun (much, much nicer).

This year we were also officially a team - the Falcons. Our mascot is the brave and noble tiger, of course! Jill and Kelly made us wicked team t-shirts so we looked super snaz. Plus, our team was only for cool people and we were on it, so of course, we were cool!

The walk went well except that we got cheated out of mini-chocolate bars by hoards of children and their hard-core, line-butting parents who grabbed them by the boxful from the volunteers. This was difficult for Jill to make peace with but somehow she held on to her goodwill and finished the walk. Kelly had to fight extremely challenging conditions in the port-a-potty (note: port-a-potties at events with children, never a safe place to go). Me, I had to contend with the fact that very few people seemed to join me in my fever for the dance, although Kelly did an excellent job of boogie-ing down with me during the warm-up (see my sister's blog for pics www.everythingisaspoon.blogspot.com)

The walk only took two hours this year (ever walk 5 km at a snail's pace?) which was an improvement over last year when the rain seemed to dull the crowd's will to move, causing the walk to cross into 3 hour territory. Afterwards, we were treated to a gourment lunch of hot-dogs, goldfish crackers, and (finally!) little chocolate bars. Poor Kelly, who is on an cleansing program, could not partake in this rich bounty and had to satisfy herself with organic trail mix and herbal tea.

Apparently, the walk raised $600,000 in Toronto. And I won a t-shirt! Woo-hoo! However, shame on the Bell Walk people for not providing recycling containers on route when they handed out hundreds of plastic water bottles. Boooo for recyclables going in the trash (I recycled mine later - I'm so good).

Gooooooo Falcons!

Mom don't read this - I MEAN IT!! :)

So, for Mother's Day, my little sister, Kelly and I went together to get mom a present. Given that she and I share some grassroots-esque type leanings, we thought we'd get mom a "donation in your name" kind of gift. Heifer International gives animals to people in developing countries to provide them with both food and livelihood (www.heifer.org). So we thought that sounded good and got down to the serious business of picking which sort of animal to purchase. In our price range, the choices were chickens, geese, ducks and bees.

Well, as you may or may not know, I hate geese. This loathing has a two-fold origin. First, I grew up in London, Ontario and frequently went to a little place known as Storybook Gardens in Springbank Park. Storybook Gardens is a nursery-rhyme themed playground with slides and sculptures and a few animals (well, they said they had animals, you rarely actually saw them, but that's another post). ANYWAY, there was a concession stand in Storybook where you could get, among other things, snowcones and french fries. So, we often had fries for lunch while we were there. And also in Storybook Gardens and the park in general, there were Canada geese just walking around. A lot geese. And let me tell you, they understood french fries. As soon as you got your fries, you better believe they were there, trying to peck them out of your hands.
And when you're five and you're small and not that quick, it is a long trip from the concession stand to the picnic table. And even once you're there, they're there too waiting, honking, ruffling their feathers menacingly. Seriously, it was scary.

The same is true of the stupid geese at York University, where I studied for one year before I got the hell out and went to U of T. My residence was right beside a nice pond where I and my friend (now my husband) used to like to go. But try to sit there and have a nice lunch in the sunshine. First, goose shit everywhere. Second, the geese would attack white styrofoam containers and brown paper bags. They had figured that shit out, let me tell you. Sometimes I used to leave by paper bag out as a decoy to try and distract them while I ate my actual food. Ah, the taxing work of Fine Arts undergrad at York - trying to outsmart geese.

So long story long, Kelly and I didn't want to buy geese. We also didn't want to buy chickens, because, well, they're ugly. Which left us with ducks and bees. Kelly however, was quite concerned that bees might be a handful for the first-time beekeeper. She had fears of vast stingings about the face and arms for our hapless recipients, not to mention the possibility of allergic reactions with no epi-pen in sight. We investigated a little more and discovered that basic training was provided along with the bees which waylaid her fears somewhat. What was unclear, however, was whether protective gear was part of the deal. The description said they would receive a hive and box but it said nothing about face guards (you know the beekeeping hat with the mesh face) and gloves. There were two pictures of happy recipients, one with a hat and no gloves, the other with gloves but no hat. This filled Kelly with a feeling of foreboding. Not wishing to condemn our poor recipient to a life of stings and fevered bouts of potentially fatal allergic reactions, we decided to go with the ducks. The website said they could be used for eggs or meat and that their poo makes good fertilizer. Plus it had pictures of fluffy little ducklings (not the one posted above, I took that at Humber Bay Park last spring). Who doesn't love ducklings? Really!

Sidenote: according to the spell check, there are no such words as "beekeeper" and "ducklings." Hmmm.

The Rot sets in....

I have wrinkles. There is absolutely no denying it any longer. For a while, I had the kind of wrinkles around my eyes that went away after a good night's sleep and across my forehead that went away once exams were done. And then after a while, they stopped going away. And I told myself "It's just that I haven't been getting enough sleep. I'm so run down and stressed all the time." But you know what? It's not true. No matter how much I sleep or what blissful zen state I enter, I still have wrinkles. And not only can you see them, you can feel them. Right now, I can feel little creases around my eyes.

This, I believe, is all part of a process that I like to call the Rot. Now I know, it's the age of the modern woman, and as a feminist, I'm supposed to embrace aging but whatever. I have an intense fear of aging and of death. On my FOURTEENTH birthday, I was sad to be getting older. And every year since has been the same. And here is what I have learned about the aging process - it's all downhill after 25. Now that is an average. Certain elements you can push up to 30 or so but basically 25 is it. Don't get me wrong. I know that life has many joys in the later years and that people complete staggering feats of intelligence, creativity, and strength after the age of 30. I'm just talking pure physiology and cellular processes. That's what starts to decline after 25. After that skin starts to lose its natural elasticity, fertility declines, your cognitive processes are less efficient, you capacity to absorb new information shifts downward, your flexibility reduces, your muscle mass reduces.

Of course, many of these processes can be slowed, prevented etc. but after 25 you can't just do nothing and keep improving. You have to actively prevent the decaying process. Yes, decaying. What else do you call the slow decline of your body's cells? This, my friends, is the Rot. Rotting on the bone for the rest of our years.

So what to do? I need botox. Seriously. I can't use all those anti-wrinkle creams because my skin still breaks out if I put anything but Noxema on it. So unfair - acne and wrinkles all at the same time! And I don't care what any product claims - I have never found a moisturizer that didn't make me 1) super oily looking or 2) break out. That's it. I mean, not only do I not moisturize but I put super drying creams on my face every night. Honestly, I'm just screwed. It's so sad to get to the stage where you can look back on pictures of yourself when you actually looked younger and better. It's also sad to know that I have now looked as good as I will ever look. So depressing. Stupid Rot. And I do need botox - I am constantly stressed and my forehead is wrinkled a good 65% of the day because of it. Even right now, the computer monitor makes me squint a little. I have to consciously relax my forehead. As soon as I start thinking about something else, it will wrinkle back up again. Ugh.

Ha, my dog is dreaming beside me. His paws are all twitching rapidly and he's kind of snorting - must be barking at squirrels in his dreams. I love my dog.

Rabbit holes and coloured pills - wtf with feminism?

Okay, here is the problem with feminism and feminist psychology. They're depressing as hell. It's no wonder feminists get a bad rap. They're either fucking with a power system that others are benefiting from or they're offering the oppressed and downtrodden bleak world views. Don't get me wrong. I'm a feminist. I think I'm far enough down the pathway that there's no turning back. I mean, you can't unknow what you know. Once you've opened your eyes, closing them again doesn't mean you didn't see what you saw. It's just every now and then, I miss my old way of living in the world. It was a nice, peaceful, ignorantly entitled way of viewing things. Sort of the like the Matrix, with the whole red pill/blue pill thing or whatever it was. I sometimes feel like I picked the wrong pill.

But, be that as it may, feminism is rarely boring. And it does give me some place to direct all my irritation at modern society. And it dovetails nicely with lots of other political issues. But it sucks the joy out of things. Bleak, bleak, bleak.

Ah, the joys of the dissertation process. I think it's starting to get to me.... lol

Ads that piss me off - #5: Calvin Klein Kiddie Porn

I girlfriend of mine sent this image to me after a morning of outrage riding the rails and staring at it. I had also been seeing it everywhere and feeling quite irked but also somewhat amused at how little creativity is in the CK department. I mean, for the last ten years, have they shown anything in their ads besides underage teens in their underwear? Not to mention that one of their recent lines of lingerie has drawings of underage girls in their underwear as the pattern on the underwear. Cause that's exactly what I want on my underwear. WTF? Seriously.

But seriously, look at this ad. First of all, how old is this girl. Look closely at her face. To me, she looks about 14 or 15. Second, look at the size of her. What is with Calvin Klein and the starved models. It's like the advertising heads have mounted a campaign for well over a decade now which promotes weightism, ageism, racism, and sexism. Way to go, Calvin Klein. And really, can someone tell me how to differentiate this from kiddie porn? Some days I find the complete lack of corporate ethics so sickening. And it always makes me feel so powerless.

It's interesting, you know, when you think about it. I feel like I have so little power. For financial and environmental reasons, I usually take the TTC around Toronto. So I pay $2 a ride with tokens or almost $100 a month on a pass. I am forced to view ads which I find offensive and demeaning. When I complain about these ads, I only receive a standard response (not everyone likes all of the advertising we display, we will forward your concerns to the department which selects out ads, blah, blah, blah). I've never had a complaint I've made to a company responded to and for ads like stupid Julie's Story, you have to spend hours online just to find out what company is behind it. So basically, you just feel like you're trapped on the subway with no way to fight back (especially since I'm too chicken to be a good culture jammer and write all over the posters). I suppose I could drive more, but then I would be forced to look at these ads as they line the streets on bus shelters and billboards. It's like you just can't turn it off. And being at a university, I have ads in the elevators, ads in the bathroom stalls, ads in the libraries. I just can't take urban living. It just grinds down the soul.

CK sucks ass. Stupid Calvin "Kiddie Porn" Klein. Fuck.

Harry Potter and the Evils of Procrastination

Well, it's been a long, long time since I have posted and I offer my apologies. I have been procrastinating on a paper by reading the Harry Potter books over again and now I am overcome with Harry fever! I can't wait for the sixth book. Apparently, there is all sorts of good back story on Snape and why Dumbledore trusts him and on James and Lily. Something huge about Lily is revealed in the sixth or seventh book. Who knows? There are websites all over where they try and figure everything out but I haven't been reading them too closely. I don't really want to know anything ahead or figure anything out. I will say though that there are people out there who take it waaaay too seriously.

Anyway, I've posted a pic from the fourth movie, which I am also excited about. I love Rupert Grint (Ron). He just cracks me up with his great face. And I love his long shaggy hair in the 4th movie. Above is a scene from Yule Ball when he's in his second hand "dress robes." Too funny.
I'm excited about this movie as Goblet of Fire is one of my favourites in the series (I think Philosopher's Stone is my very fav though - it's just such a good beginning!). There's a LOT to pack into this movie though and I'm not sure how successfully they'll be able to do it. I found that was already a problem with Prisoner of Azkaban - the character development and flow of the film really suffered in the attempt to cram all of the critical plot elements in. I also strongly disliked the new Dumbledore. Dumbledore had been played by Richard Harris who I thought gave an excellent portrayal of age and wisdom with the lighthearted slyness and the quiet empathy that make him such a great character in the book. Unfortunately RH passed away and was replaced by Michael Gambon who I don't like at all. He has none of the warmth or understatedness that I associated with Dumbledore. I can only hope he'll do a better job in GoF than he did in PoA.

Anyway, for those of you who are similarly obsessed with HP, I suggest checking out www.mugglenet.com for more info on the movie and the book.


Funny Ron!

Media responsibility

Well, I just finished watching a tape of Sheena's Place (www.sheenasplace.org) annual forum on eating disorder prevention and I'm all riled up. A series of panelists presented on different programs aimed at preventing eating disorders and promoting balanced health. Every single one of them talked about media literacy as a crucial element in health promotion. And it got me thinking, given the overwhelming amount of evidence that exists indicating that media and advertising is detrimental to our well-being, why are there so few checks on what is allowable and so few incentives for supplying more positive, health-promoting media? For those of you who think that all this talk about the dangers of media are crap, I would advise you dig a little. Consuming various forms of media has been linked with lower self-esteem, increased depression, increased body dissatisfaction, desensitization to violence (physical, verbal, sexual), increased feelings of fear and insecurity in the community - the list goes on and on.

Now I know some of you are bristling and saying "Freedom of speech! If we start the censorship process, it's just a slippery slope towards 1984." And I agree with you. It is crucial that there are uncensored outlets for discussion, debate, and disagreement. But I'm talking about corporate responsibility and the responsibility that we have as a society to protect each other from things that are clearly damaging. The truth is, it's not so much about what's removing what's out there (though I would be happier if stupid Julie's Story would just disappear). It's more about increasing the amount of alternatives available. It drives me nuts to hear health professionals talk about the need for media literacy, to see study after study show the harms of media exposure and then to see things only escalate in terms of the blatant use of sexuality to sell product, the objectification of women in advertising, music videos, and well, pretty much everything, the use of violence, especially sexual violence, to add "spice" to tv shows, and the complete lack of diversity in most of the dominant media. We focus so much on how to help children (and adults) deal with the messages coming in and do very little to provide other sorts of messages.

The other thing I would challenge you to think about when it comes to censorship and the media is the fact that we, as in we the lowly consumers, are already largely censored by lack of access. Only those with the cash get to be heard. How much would it cost an individual to run a full page ad in the Toronto Star? How about to put a poster in a subway? How about to run a campaign with newspaper, radio, and television ads? Most companies have large advertising budgets and so the images they choose are everywhere. We have little say about what we are forced to look at as we walk down the street or ride the subway. Occasionally complaints will bring action - I once complained that Chapters had an extremely explicit selection of manga directly in the path of the entrance to the children's section. I'm all for manga but I don't think pictures of women tied up in chains and wearing straps of leather are appropriate for 5 year olds. They moved the display. It was good. But face it, most of the time, complaints fall on deaf ears and nothing changes unless there is MASS public outcry.

Which is what I dig about weblogs - free access. You only need a very little technical know-how and access to a computer, which most people can get at a library or community centre. It's also what I dig about culture jamming. It might just look like graffiti but at least it's a way to interact and to strike back at the images that strike at us. Of course, it's illegal which is interesting. I can be forced to look at ads that are damaging to my self-esteem and increase my feelings of depression (it's not like I can walk down the street with my eyes closed) but I am not allowed to do anything to remove, disrupt, or even slightly mar those ads. The whole thing makes me feel very, very angry and very, very powerless. It's so discouraging, the power of the corporation versus the power of the individual. Grrr, it's enough to make me want to live off the grid. Solutions anyone?

More tales from the couch

So, I am once again hunting for a new therapist after parting ways with my current therapist earlier this week. She just never really warmed up. Plus she managed to create a vibe like I was kind of intruding on her life rather than creating a nice therapeutic space. Her half-read personal books stacked up beside the chair, her too loud classical music playing in the background. The fact that at least 5 minutes of every 50 minute session I was paying for was spent making tea for herself. Not to mention that on her bookshelf were hundreds of books, not one of which was even remotely related to psychology.

When I told her I didn't think we were a very good fit, she seemed quite unconcerned, which in itself isn't a big deal. I actually prefer it that way because it's always a very awkward conversation when you are essentially firing someone. But still, she didn't offer me referrals (which ethically she probably should have) or inquire after my concerns. I don't know.

Spring has to come eventually... right?

I've been feeling lately like this stupid winter is never going to end. And generally speaking I like winter. There have been many lovely, sunny winter days with fresh white snow and crisp blue skies. But it's enough already. And so to remind myself that eventually spring does come, I put up a few pictures I took last spring in High Park.

spring 1 

spring 

Ads that piss me off - #4: Julie's Story (again)

Ah, Julie. Again you grace my life with your message of insecurity, self-loathing, and narrow definitions of beauty. In case you can't make out the text it says "I am Julie. Today I shopped for everything I liked, not just anything that would fit." Whatever, I won't go on too much about that because anyone who has faced plus-sized shopping knows that there is limited availability that means you don't have too much choice. No, what pisses me off more is the picture. What's with the mannequins? Is the ad trying to suggest that Julie has dieted herself down to look like these mannequins? Most store mannequins are around a size two or four and a weight loss of 5-10 pounds represents about 1 dress size so if Julie lost "just a few pounds" and now looks like a mannequin than Julie was a size 4 or 6 when she decided she was too fat and that this was a medical crisis necessitating medical intervention.

Anyway, so I was looking at the ad and thinking "Is this ad trying to say that this is what women should look like, these mannequins?" and I thought "No, no advertiser in their right mind would actually set up that kind of a message." It's one thing to say women should be thin but to be mannequins - faceless, lifeless dolls to dress up and stare at? Then I started thinking, "Why aren't the mannequins wearing any clothes? Isn't the point of this ad the "joy of fitting into fashionable clothes?" So then I thought, "Oh, maybe Julie is supposed to have bought all the clothes right off the mannequins." Which would again reinforce that Julie has dieted herself down to the size of the mannequins, since she bought the clothes they were wearing. So anyway you cut it, this ad is really saying the women should look like the mannequins.

And look at the mannequins in this ad!! I mean, the one on the right has NO bum. Even thin women still have bums. And then there's the fact that they are all naked - whether this is to emphasize their thinness or to hint at sexuality or to strip women of individuality by reducing them to generic forms I'm not sure but given the ad is focused on clothes, I think it's weird. And why is the one holding a purse? And notice how they're all facing away from the camera. Much like the lingerie ass and thigh shot in the other ad, it seems that the people at Julie's story have something against showing women's faces. Once again, I can't help but imagine how this ad could have been different - how about a laughing, smiling woman spinning in a new dress (I know it's the ultimate weight loss cliche shot, but you get my drift) or a woman piled down with shopping bags and a big grin on her face. How about some personality, some individuality, some, oh, I don't know, living people???

Anyway, to sum up - women as lifeless, plastic, generic, faceless, shapeless, skinny objects to be posed and looked at. Women who are larger than mannequins needing to undergo medical treatment (which is never, ever safe) for weight loss. This ad is creepy and disturbing. I think I find it more offensive than the ass and thigh ad. Look closely and think about it for a minute. It is some fucked up shit.

Stupid Julie's story. Still pissing me off.